Picture this: the house is silent, except for the frantic tapping of a calculator and the occasional muffled sob. It’s exam time, folks!
That magical season when our kids transform into stress-fueled zombies, and we, the well-meaning parents, morph into… well, let’s be honest, sometimes we turn into miniature versions of Gordon Ramsay in *Hell’s Kitchen*. “Focus, you donut! Did you even *study* that?!”. Sound familiar?
Yeah, we’ve all been there. But what if I told you there’s a better way? A way to ditch the drill sergeant routine and become the calm, supportive Sherpa your child desperately needs?

Let’s face it, exam time is a pressure cooker.

For kids, it’s a mountain of stress.

For parents? Often, it’s a chance to accidentally become a drill sergeant instead of a supportive sherpa.
We mean well, but good intentions pave the road to… well, more anxiety.

Think of it this way: your child is scaling Everest. The exam is the summit. You, as the parent, have two choices:

1. **The Drill Sergeant:** Yelling from base camp, “Focus! Remember what I told you! Don’t be an idiot and make silly mistakes! My reputation is on the line!” (Translation: Projecting your expectations and anxieties onto them.)
2. **The Sherpa:** Calmly offering support, carrying extra supplies (emotional and practical), pointing out the best path, and reminding them they’ve trained for this.

Which approach do you think gets them to the top with their sanity intact?

**The “I Told You So” Trap (and How to Avoid It)**

We’ve all been there. The urge to say, “I told you to study earlier or that chapter!” when they’re panicking about it the night before the exam. Resist! This is like kicking a climber who’s already slipped on the ice. Instead, try:

* **Acknowledge the Feeling:** “That sounds really frustrating. It’s tough when you feel unprepared.” (Just listen and address their feelings.)
* **Empowerment, Not Instruction:** “What do you think your best option is right now? Maybe a quick review of the key concepts, or focusing on what you *do* know well?” (Help them navigate, don’t dictate.)

**The “Helpful” Advice That Hurts**

“Just focus!” “Stay calm!” These are the equivalent of telling someone with a broken leg to “just walk it off.” It’s not helpful, it’s dismissive. Instead of offering generic advice, focus on creating a supportive environment.

**The Power of Decompression (and Ditching the Screen)**

Imagine a shaken bottle of soda. Exams are the shaking. You need to release the pressure *before* it explodes. That means decompression.

* **Activity is Key:** Encourage activities they enjoy – *especially* if they don’t involve screens. A walk in the park, playing a sport, listening to music, or even just chatting can work wonders. Why no screens? Because screens are often *another* source of stimulation and potential anxiety.
* **Create a Calm Oasis:** Maintain a cheerful, calm atmosphere at home. This isn’t the time for major family drama or stressful discussions. Your home should be a safe haven.

**The “Silly Mistake” Minefield**

Everyone makes mistakes, especially under pressure. Getting angry about them is like punishing a plant for not growing fast enough. It’s counterproductive.

* **Compassion, Not Criticism:** If they come out of the exam kicking themselves for a “silly mistake,” offer compassion. “It happens. It’s frustrating, but it doesn’t define the whole exam.”
* **Focus on the Bigger Picture:** Remind them that one mistake is unlikely to derail their entire future. (Unless that mistake involves accidentally setting the exam paper on fire. Then, we might have a *slightly* bigger problem.)

**The Bottom Line: Be the Sherpa, Not the Drill Sergeant**

Exams are stressful enough. Your job as a parent isn’t to add to that stress. It’s to provide a safe, supportive environment where your child feels empowered to do their best.
Listen, empathize, and offer unconditional love and support. Ditch the expectations, the “I told you so’s,” and the generic advice.

Be the sherpa who helps them reach the summit, one step at a time.
And remember, the view from the top is always better when you’ve enjoyed the climb.