Most of the teens and tweens are confused with their thoughts about their career , their feelings and changes they go through .
They miss on prioritizing their time , energy and resources ,which costs them a lot . The cost they bear ,manifests in the form of anxiety , stress and panic attacks.
It starts to show in their mindset and personality as well as their external outcomes like grades and social life.
All parents need to do is to listen to their teenagers to share wisdom sans judgements .
Parents can help- Just Listen
Parents need to listen to their teens and tweens ,in the same manner as they would have listened to the younger version of their child-without any judgements .
Listen without any judgements
-Agenda of understanding their perspective , to understand whats going on in the teenage brain
-No blaming for the behaviour but understanding the feelings underneath
-Listen objectively without projecting any of your fear on them
Few parents do feel that their teen doesnt want to talk to them or just talk basic functional talk ,rather then sharing what’s troubling him/her . In those scenarios , parents might want to dwell deeper on their own thoughts and work on their emotion navigation , so that they can build more meaningful connection and have deeper conversations. Parents can take help of books , parenting coaches or therapists.
Parents can share their wisdom and experience as guided by parenting coach
We,human ,have very strong urge to share and contribute to our loved one’s lives but what we miss out on is the adaptive environment / relationship.
Just because our child was always following our instructions when young , doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t question or ignore it now.
With their growing up years , they have developed their own perspective and its a good idea to share your wisdom ,after listening to them and sharing when asked for.
Share your wisdom as objectively as possible
-Sharing as objectively as possible without any past blame or judgment
-After listening to them ,understanding their needs and emotions , you can offer help ,if they would like to have .
-If you struggle to build these communications then take help of parent coach or or therapist
-Resist on projecting your anxiety onto them.
Parents need to collaborate with compassion
Have compassion for self as well as you child .
Just because he/ she looks all grown up , it still can’t take away the fact that their prefrontal cortex is still develop .
Compassion for self is very important for parents to not fall into the trap of guilt and shame .
-Collaborate with your child to explore possibilities together.
-Get support of experienced Paretning coaches.
Our teenagers have their untapped potential and all they need is little help , a safe environment to explore , a mentor , friend to support and the world belongs to them.
Parenting counseling helps parents understand themselves ,thier needs ,emotions better ,so they are more attuned to thier teenager’s needs and emotions . It helps parents to be more present to their teenage’s confusion , help them gain clarity , lessen their anxiety and create deeper bonds.