If he/she could choose his/her parents then what do you think would they be expecting.
It’s a question, which I dreaded myself as a parent, but when I paused and reflected on it, I had amazing realization and awareness started setting in.
Questions I reflected on:-
How am I doing my parenting?
Is it anywhere coming from my preconditioned beliefs that says that parenting is it be done in a particular way?
Which actions of mine are coming from beliefs of society, my parents and why am I not pausing and dwelling on it?
Which actions of mine are coming from my need to satisfy my fear –fear of what others will think, fear of my child missing out, fear of future?
Have I bought in society’s introjects of –IT SHOULD BE DONE THIS WAY OR IT MUST BE ONLY THIS WAY OR IT HAS TO BE DONE AS IT HAS BEEN DONE SINCE AGES.
With lot of pondering, journaling, mediating, I realized that most of my actions, behaviors and words coming out of my mouth were highly infested with beliefs of society. It had nothing to do with my child, His soul, his spirit.
I was flowing with downstream parenting which was just coming naturally to me because that’s the way I was parented. The challenge was to look within myself, accept myself and work on myself for upstream parenting.
Upstream parenting as name suggests was against the flow of beliefs of society but closer to my and my child’s authentic self.
CHALLENGE WAS TO BREAK THE PATTERNS – pattern of when i see an action of my child – the thought which goes in my mind – the feeling it generates – how I react – how it affected him – it affects me in return .
As the start pf the patterns was with me , so place to start working on, was my inner self , my thoughts.
Before , his doing , skill building and achievements was my goal and I believed that he as person would only be enough if he has some achievements or skills where I completely forgot that he whole and enough irrespective of his doings and achievements.
As I started working
with the child not on the child,
as I prioritizing connection over correction,
as I trusted my instincts more than the society beliefs (which were there when I became mother) ,
as I listened to him more rather than projecting my fears and beliefs ,
as I worked with his individuality , with him as team
as I focused more on process rather than achievement,
as I became more aware of my thoughts and actions
as I became more compassionate towards self and him
MAGIC STARTED HAPPENING.
I BECAME THE PARENT HE ALWAYS WANTED, A PARENT WORKING WITH HIM TO THRIVE, TO REACH HIS HIGHEST POTENTIAL, A PARENT WITH JOYOUS, POSITIVE ENERGY, A PARENT TO CONNECT ,TO GO TO AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
It not only did wonders to his spirit but also made me more of my own authentic self.
We still have dips and falls in this journey, all due to my beliefs, my preconditioned thoughts, which come up again and again and require more questioning and awareness.
Thanks to consciousness, that it helps me come back from the trenches fast and doesn’t cause so much damage as it used to cause.
No doubt that it a work, but he magic happens only during and after the work.Choice is yours – to be the parent your child deserves or to be the parent society, beliefs, preconditioned thoughts have made you
I invite you to join the tribe,work with us,get coached,get answers to questions, break the patterns and be part of conscious parenting movement and see the magic happen.